And so there we were. Dancing, dancing, dancing away under the sun. Myself and my shadow, my shadow and myself. I couldn’t shake her, not even with the movement of my shaking, quaking hips, oh no. Though I didn’t want to shake her, I didn’t want to shake her, we were one, we were united, we were a duet. United as one, we danced, we tumbled, we swirled, we dived, we grooved, we swivelled, we jumped, we jived. Together, the two of us developing a rhythm under the music of the sun, I couldn’t shake her; I didn’t want to shake her. I didn’t want to shake the energy of her hips, the movement of her torso, of her dancing arms, her rhythmic lips. Just the two of us, together as one, a-one two three four five six seven eight, the timing of our hearts beating as one. Sway, two three four, and back, two three four, dance and prance and glide and slide and smile, yes I smile, as my shadow smiles at me and we smile together and we laugh and dance in the sun. I’ve never danced like this before; I’ve never felt the warmth. I’ve never felt the beat of a heart pounding in time with mine. I’ve never been hand in hand as we gently sway, in time with the rhythmic beating of our hearts.
I’ve never been asked to dance before.
I guess I’ll have to make do with my shadow.

5 Comments:
nice words, and nice ideas, a good piece of concept writing, it seems to be short of a purpose, and a reason, the lines are well written, but it is unstructured, and it is difficult to tell how it develops
nice words, and nice ideas, a good piece of concept writing, it seems to be short of a purpose, and a reason, the lines are well written, but it is unstructured, and it is difficult to tell how it develops
i think i need to take it further, it started as an idea and a spontaneous thought, i started writing and didn't know where i was taking it. although it is not structured for a purpose actually, because it is to show the quirky, spontaneous style of dancing that the character has. it is meant to be more of an abstract piece. i will work on it and see what you think!
cool - i like the writing, the style and that - as said before. the subtle introduction of lonliness in the end works well too. if you can find another underlying emotion to creep under the edges, that would be amazing. like - a motive, or something? i dunno - just throwing round ideas here
definately, i will work on it and post another draft soon, thanks for the help!
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